When can I use mediation?

You can use mediation at any stage you feel it would help; whether you are living together, separated, divorced, during ongoing divorce or court proceedings.

Mediation can also help those already separated to work out new arrangements in changed circumstances, as well as helping wider family members such as grandparents.

What can be discussed in mediation?

How you will share your time with the children, keeping each other informed about the children, making major decisions about your children now and in the future, strengthening communications as co—parents.

Sorting out a financial settlement; what happens to the family home, how should assets be divided and what happens to the liabilities. How should pensions be treated. What level of financial support is needed and how much should be paid for child support.

Reconsidering arrangements that are no longer working.

What do Mediators do?
Mediators offer a neutral place to discuss your issues in confidence. They make sure that discussions are fair and that you and your partner feel safe. The Mediator will not tell you what to do or take sides but can make suggestions, share ideas and help you to look at different solutions. The Mediator can help you to understand each other’s and the children’s needs and concerns.
How many meetings?

On average there are between three to five sessions for all issues mediation (finance and children’s issues) and between two to three sessions for children’s issues, although the number of sessions will also depend on what you want to discuss and how complicated matters are.

Do I have to be in the same room as my ex partner?

Usually meetings are held together although sometimes people prefer not to see each other particularly where there has been intimidation or emotional distress. If this is the case we can offer ‘shuttle mediation’ so that each of you will be in separate rooms and the mediator will move between rooms.

How long does mediation take?
Mediation meetings are usually about an hour and a half.
Frequency of mediation meetings
Meetings can be held weekly, fortnightly, monthly or whenever it is felt most useful to have a meeting.
What happens to our proposals?
Usually at the end of mediation a detailed written summary of your proposals is prepared for you and the Mediator will explain how the proposals can become legally binding if you want them to be. Mediation compliments and simplifies the legal process and you are encouraged to seek legal advice at any time during the process as the need arises and especially when you reach proposals for settlement.
Can the children see the mediator?
Children are encouraged to have a separate appointment with a mediator, provided they want to and both parents and the mediator agree this could be helpful. This will also depend on the age of the children. The mediator may discuss this possibility with you at your MIAM and during mediation.
Can I bring anyone else to the MIAM?
Yes if you come to an individual meeting.
Can I bring anyone else to the mediation meetings?
Usually mediation meetings are with you, your ex and the mediator. In some circumstances you can bring another person to the mediation meetings if your ex-partner and the mediator agree this will be helpful to the process.
What if my ex-partner or the other party will not consider mediation?
We suggest you seek legal advice on how you can progress matters and if you need to make an application to court we can supply you with certified forms confirming you have attended a miam or considered mediation.
What if my ex-partner has been abusive?

We find out from each of you in confidence about any concerns for your safety and well-being. If it is decided that mediation is to go ahead we can arrange for you to wait separately from your ex-partner and to arrive and leave at different times so you do not meet.

In some situations you might have ‘shuttle’ mediation so you are in completely separate rooms and this can be discussed with your mediator at the MIAM or at any stage necessary.

On occasions mediation may be assessed as unsuitable where there has been abuse and we may suggest you seek legal advice on the best way to resolve matters and find the support you may need.